Day 9 – Friday
Today was a fairly un-eventful day. We got up early to get Malachi/Mayer to his physical at the Surgery. His appt was at 9am. We aren’t far from their so we were out the door at 845 and was there by 9. We checked in and then waited. The doctor called us back about 930 am – so we didn’t wait long. It was a routine physical but there were a lot of other questions about his medical history we just didn’t know. We did have some medical records that Sister gave us, and the doctor helped us translate them – turns out that Mayer was in the hospital a lot in 2008. :( Poor guy! He had pneumonia several times as well as some sort of infection in his shoulder that got into the bone. From the records it shows they had to actually cut into his arm to relieve the infection. He was in the hospital in April, May, June & July of 2008.
His physical went well and he got the OK from the doctor to travel to the US as long as his TB comes back negative. That is what we needed this medical for – for his visa interview. His HIV test was negative, everything else we will test for when we get back to the US. The doctor looked at the spot on his arm where his TB test was administered. He said it looks fine, but we aren’t able to get the forms signed off until we come back tomorrow to get the TB test officially read. Hoping and praying it is negative!
After the Surgery we went back to the hotel for nap time and lunch. Sister Christine sent us a text during naptime and told us she was sick all night, just went to the doctor and found out she has malaria. She’s on bedrest at the convent receiving fluids.
After the nap and lunch we decided to go to the mall, as we needed a few things from the store, needed to go to the bank and wanted to look around at some of the stores. The mall here is called Garden City. It is similar to a mall in the US – a large building with lots and lots of stores. There are three or four stories full of stores, restaurants, a movie theatre, etc. Mayer had his first taste of ice cream there. He seemed to enjoy riding in his Ergo and just watching everything go by as we walked around. We tried to get him to play on the playground but he wasn’t having that at all! He also was not at all interested in riding in the cart at the grocery store. We were able to pick up the few things we needed and then headed back to the hotel. The rest of the evening consisted of playing, dinner, playing, bath and bed. Real exciting – I know. :)
At times, Mayer seems more and more comfortable with us every day. We are also seeing much more frustration and anger in him each day. When he gets mad he throws himself on the floor and cries. I’m at a bit of a loss at the best way to handle this – there are so many varying opinions. Do we just ignore him when he acts like that? On the other hand, I don’t want him to feel like we are ignoring him when our trust is still being built right now. I know what we’d do if he was a “normal” toddler in a normal parental relationship with us, but our relationship is so fragile and new I’m feeling a bit torn on what to do. I don’t want to give in to everything just to avoid a fit, I know we’re setting ourselves up for trouble later, but at the same time I don’t want to let him scream and bang his head on the floor for long periods of time either. I’m afraid someone is going to hear him and think we’re torturing the poor kid! People are suspicious of us anyway. (You should see some of the looks and comments we get! Adoption is not very common here and a lot of people don’t even seem to realize foreigners could adopt Ugandan children. I think many of them haven’t processed their opinions on the subject yet and we are their introduction to the idea.
Ok – more later.
Day 10 – Saturday
This morning we got up, had breakfast at the hotel dining room (love free breakfast buffets!) and headed over to the Surgery so that Malachi/Mayers TB test could be read. We got in quickly, the spot was measured and we got the diagnosis of non-reactive. Woo hoo! The doctor is signing off on his medical forms and sending them to the Embassy on Monday. What a relief to have that part of it done.
After the Surgery we headed back to the hotel. Again today, Mayer seems to be acting more and more angry at me. He is all about Keith now and directing his anger/frustrations at me. For example – Keith gave him a piece of bread. He was crumbling on the floor so I asked him to give it to me so I could put it in a bowl (he eats most of his food out of this bowl, so not a big deal) I showed him the bowl, and put the bread in there. The point five seconds it took was too much for him and he threw himself on the ground screaming and crying. I tried to talk to him and crouched down in front of him, he screamed and started scooting away from me. At this point he starts banging his head on the (tile) floor – pretty hard. Both Keith and I are afraid he is going to hurt himself so I pick him up. He is SO mad and is twisting trying to get out of my arms. I kneel down and set his feet on the floor. He pulls away from me so fast and runs to Keith. Keith comforts him and he stops crying. Example two: I ask him if he wants to come up on the bed . He starts to cry and runs away. Keith holds his hands out for him to come up on the bed – he comes up and scoots his body far away from me and as close to Keith as possible. Last night I tried to lay him in bed and he screamed for a long time. I went and got him out of bed (he stopped crying) and rocked him until he fell asleep. Tonight, I figured we’d have to do the same thing. I wanted Keith to be the bad guy (I don’t want to always seem like the bad guy to him!) so I asked Keith to lay him in bed and I would go rescue him later (me becoming the good guy). Keith laid him down and the kid didn’t make a peep. It is weird because most of the time he plays with me and hugs me and I carry him everwhere and he is happy about it. He gives me great smiles and highfives and generally we get a long GREAT. But then its like something hits him and I become the enemy. I do almost all of his feeding, changing, baths, etc. I carry him most of the time and we use the Ergo so we’re face to face so I can look him in the eyes, etc. I’m guessing he somehow feels threatened by me, thinking that I’m trying to replace the only “mom” he’s ever known – Sister Christine – because I’m doing these motherly duties. I’m not sure. I’m feeling a bit lost as to the best way to handle these type of situations. I don’t blame him. I don’t think anythings wrong with him. I know he’s very confused. We thought we’d see more of Sister this weekend (not sure if that would have helped or hurt more) but she’s down with Malaria so she hasn’t been around. Feel free to send me thoughts and suggestions, especially those that have been there and done that with adopted toddlers.