Day 13

Day 13

We had a doozy meltdown this morning! Mayer found two (glass) soda bottles on the counter and wanted to play with them. I told him no, that he couldn’t play with them and put them in a different room. I gave him another (plastic) bottle to play with instead. He threw himself on the ground screaming. I tried to distract him but he wasn’t having it. It was full on SCREAM at the top of his lungs. No tears, just screaming. I finally just stood/sat near him. Every once in a while I’d put my arms out and ask him if he wanted me to pick him up. He would scream louder and hit at my arms. So I’d sit again. Finally he slowed down a little and put his arms up for me to pick him up. I take him over and lay him in the bed between Keith and I. He tries to flail and hit so I make him lay down. He screams some more until he finally puts his fingers in his mouth and stops. He then falls asleep shortly after. It was the longest meltdown we’ve had yet. I was exhausted and ended up taking a nap with him – we slept for 2.5 hours.
After we got up we had lunch here in the room and played for a while. We then decided to head to the store to grab a few things and get out for a bit. He knew we were getting ready to go, and was so excited getting his shoes and clothes on. As we were walking out the door I asked him to set the big lotion bottle he was carrying around on the table. He threw it across the room and threw himself on the ground – again. So the whole thing started over. Once again we sat by him as he screamed until he reached his arms out to me. When he finally started to settle down I asked him again if he was ready to go. He stopped crying as soon as we started to open the door. He was generally fussy and aggravated most of the time we were out. We did whatever we could so that he wouldn’t have a meltdown while we were out at the stores. It worked. No meltdowns at the store. We went to Game (sort of like a walmart but no groceries) and Shopright (grocery store). Then we had lunch at Mr. Tasty (not very tasty). I purchased a Stoney and a Krest to try (two drinks I’ve been told I must try while I’m here…we tried the Krest, it’s way to bitter for us. Haven’t tried the Stoney yet). We then headed back to the hotel where we’ve just been hanging out. We got some bubbles at Game and Mayer LOVES them. He goes nuts. I had packed a ton, but when our bags were overweight that was the first thing to go.

Mayer went to sleep about 15 minutes ago. He was tired and went to sleep fast.

Here’s a random bit of information. Our hotel is, I think, owned by Indians (there are a lot of Indians here). We have about 30 channels on the TV and most of them are from India. There must be a HUGE market for skin lightening cremes in India. Honestly, I didn’t even know such a thing really exsisted over the counter. I mean – I’d heard about Michael Jackson and all that, but this is like, from Jergens! And other name brands we have in the US. I was just shocked. We’ve seen like 10 different brands/commercials. Can you imagine something like that being advertised in the States? I yi yi.

We found out at dinner that the judge has signed our ruling and we need to take it over to the Minister of Gender to get a letter so that we can apply for Mayers passport. We need to be at the lawyers office at 8am. Yuck. So we’ll be up and out the door by 730. I’m hoping that we will get the letter quickly. From what I understand we still need the official ruling from the judge as well, so we’re hoping that will come quickly too. Everyone is supposed to go to Jinja tomorrow – our lawyer has court and Sister has a meeting with a prospective adoptive family. I have a package to drop off in Jinja for an adoptive family and we really want to see some of the sites in that area, but if we have to sit in the MoG office tomorrow we’ll have to put our Jinja trip on hold . We’ll see.

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5 Comments to “Day 13”

  1. sorry for the meltdowns…i’m guessing the mamas try to help them stop crying but giving or doing whatever the child wants so now it looks like you have some corrective disciplining to do, which I am sure will go much better once your back home! Sounds like your doing a great job! the pics of him are SO adorable! I just want to pinch his cheeks!

  2. Salem, they have these creams at Wal-Mart!!!! When we adopted Bright folks in Ghana kept asking me when I would start him on “cream” to lighten his skin. I didn’t know such a think existed, and certainly not in the US! But evidently there is quite a market, if wal-mart carries them!

  3. In India, esp. the caste system is still somewhat in place/enforced…lighter skin people are higher caste so everyone wants to look like they have lighter skin.
    If you see many Indian movies, you will notice a lot of the people could pass for European…fyi. and sadly people with darker skin are often victims of prejudice more often than those with lighter skin I have heard…

  4. Isn’t it funny how much he likes bottles? Does he have any small toys, or stuffed animals? Maybe if he had a little toy he could carry it might help him be able to self calm, like a little teddy or toy car or something…. He may be attached to the things like that because it’s security with all the constant action/changes…just a thought. My kids used a ‘binky’ which I never thought I would allow, but they had trouble finding/remembering fingers and I decided I’d rather they got attached to something I could toss(which we did at the right age;)just another thought…

  5. you’re doing so well Salem, he’s learning to trust you and love you and his behavior will be just fine when he feels more secure. I know how hard it is to have a freak-out on your hands, but just breathe deeply and be a calm oasis of gentle discipline. I always found that sitting down on the floor near them not only lets them come to you when they’re ready, but it kind of helps to see the big giant world from their perspective for a minute too…
    hugs!!!
    tiffani

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